Menopause & Relationships

The physical and emotional changes related to menopause, such as mood swings and irritability, can have a significant impact on personal relationships: partners, family, friendships, sex, and even relations in the workplace.

It is a common time for relationship breakdown – over 60% of divorces in the UK are initiated by women who are currently going through the menopausal transition. When a marriage does break down, 3 in 4 women will blame it on menopause, and worryingly, more than half of all women say that menopause leads to an increase in domestic abuse and arguments.

But it does not need to be this way. Open communication, understanding of symptoms, and genuine empathy can help to maintain healthy relationships during this time. It is also important to recognize that the menopausal transition is a shared experience, affecting not only the woman, but also her partner and loved ones.

The support of a loving, loyal partner can be invaluable during the menopausal transition. For example, partners can perform household tasks, childcare, and other responsibilities. This can be particularly helpful during times when menopausal symptoms, such as fatigue or mood swings, are more pronounced.

This support becomes easier for both sides of a couple after they seek information about the effects of menopause. For example, two partners could work through this pathway together, helping to alleviate misunderstandings and foster empathy, allowing couples to cope with changes.

Effective communication is also essential. The partners of people experiencing menopause can support them by avoiding negative comments, while active listening can help both partners to feel heard and understood. Partners can also provide emotional support by validating feelings, offering encouragement, and helping women feel better understood during this time of significant change.

Menopause can present challenges to a person’s sexual relationships, as hormonal changes can lead to decreased libido, vaginal dryness, and discomfort during intercourse. 80% of post-menopausal women report sexual dysfunction of some sort, and many see menopause as the end of their sex life – but it does not have to be this way.

Libido is linked to testosterone, and just like estrogen, the body's production of this important hormone decreases at the time of menopause. To combat this, a doctor may recommend testosterone treatment in the form of gel or sachets, which can help to bring back a woman's sex drive, and work best when they're combined with estrogen HRT. Testosterone treatment can have other benefits too, like reducing levels of fatigue.

As well as this, topical lubricants and vaginal moisturizers can help to alleviate vaginal dryness and make intercourse more comfortable. In some cases, topical estrogen creams may be prescribed to improve vaginal tissue health and reduce dryness. It is important for women to discuss these options with their healthcare provider to determine the best course of action for their individual needs.

Another approach to addressing sexual challenges is to explore alternative forms of intimacy, such as cuddling, massage, or non-penetrative sexual activities. These can help to maintain a sense of closeness and connection, even when intercourse may be uncomfortable or less frequent.

If a couple is facing major difficulties during the menopausal transition, professional help is an option. Therapists, counselors, or support groups can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to discuss challenges and emotions.

Couples therapy can be particularly helpful for partners navigating the changes associated with menopause. A therapist can facilitate open communication, help couples develop effective coping strategies, and provide guidance on maintaining intimacy and connection during this time. Support groups, either in-person or online, can also provide advice and support from others who have experienced similar relationship challenges.

Speaking to a family doctor or gynecologist is also a good idea, especially if a woman is experiencing physical symptoms.

Just like romantic relationships, friendships can play a crucial role in navigating menopause, as they provide emotional support, understanding, and camaraderie during this time of change. Friends who have experienced menopause themselves can offer valuable insights, advice, and empathy, helping women feel less isolated and more empowered in their journey.

Sharing experiences and discussing challenges with friends can help normalize menopause and reduce feelings of shame or embarrassment. This open dialogue can also foster a sense of connection and support, as women realize they are not alone in their experiences.

In addition to emotional support, friends can also provide practical assistance, such as accompanying one another to medical appointments or sharing resources and information about menopause. This collaborative approach can help women feel more informed and confident in managing their symptoms.

Menopause can impact family relationships, as the emotional and physical changes experienced by a woman can affect her interactions with family members. For example, mood swings and irritability may lead to increased tension or conflict within the family. For children, seeing their parent anxious or distressed may be unsettling.

It is essential to navigate this difficult area through honesty and dialogue. It can be difficult to explain menopause to children, depending on their age, but it is essential that open communication is followed. It will allow them to understand what is going on and help to reduce the tension in the family.

Once aware, family members can also provide practical support, such as performing household tasks, or offer emotional support during difficult moments. This collaborative approach can help alleviate stress and promote a sense of unity within the family.

The menopausal transition can present challenges in the workplace, as symptoms such as hot flashes, fatigue, and mood swings can impact job performance and interpersonal relationships.

Despite this, continuing to work is important for many women, as it can provide fulfillment, self-esteem and a sense of purpose. In the UK, for example, 8 out of 10 menopausal women are working, and it is currently the fastest growing demographic in the workforce.

Again, communication is important. A woman can ask her employer to make some reasonable adjustments, like providing a fan to put on her desk. Some employers, such as HSBC UK or multinational drinks company Diageo, already have policies related to menopause in place.

Sometimes, colleagues might be nervous talking about menopause, and line managers may be uncertain how to manage it. In cases like these — and if women feel comfortable — getting involved with educating co-workers can bring about major benefits.

Along with clear and open communication, self-care is another essential factor in maintaining relationships during the menopausal transition. By prioritizing their physical, emotional, and mental health, women can better manage the challenges of menopause, and maintain positive connections with their loved ones.

Physical self-care can include regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep, all of which can help alleviate menopausal symptoms and promote overall health. Emotional self-care may involve practicing relaxation techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing, to reduce stress and anxiety.

Mental self-care can include engaging in activities that promote personal growth and fulfillment, such as hobbies, learning new skills, or volunteering. These pursuits can help women maintain a sense of identity and purpose during this period.